The new year rang in just like every other, a big ball dropped and i was tipsy. I imagine 2012 will be exactly the same, even though were all supposed to die. There's been a problem though, for the last two years i've been living with cancerous thoughts of regret in my head. I haven't been myself for a while, and i want to get back to being the easy going smart ass i used to be.
I've been living with regret because of the pasts failed decisions that led me down a road of unemployment, lost friends and a renewed drinking problem. It's getting to the point where i have started lashing out at people for trivial and pointless things.
The way i see it, i need to make this a turning point in my life, stop worrying about the past and start thinking about the future. I've already created a five year plan but it's time to really put it into action. On top of that i need to let go of everything that's been troubling me, there's nothing i can do to change it so it's pointless to keep dwelling on it like this. I have a great paying job and some of the best friends and family in the world.
I've learned a lot, some of the past problems were caused by my arrogance, i wont let that happen again. Someone jokingly told me the other day to "be my own man" but it got me thinking A LOT about life. I'm going to be a better person, i wish i could be more like my father but he's a better person than i'll ever be, so i'll have to be content with who i can be.
Life is complicated but i'm figuring it out. Who needs a shrink when you can talk things out on your own right? I hope this day is a turning point for me going forward, i dont see why it shouldn't be.
Josh
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment