Facing Life

I truly have a deep appreciation for life, sometimes i forget to think about it but for the most part when i wake up, i appreciate that first thought upon waking. I've learned to find happiness in all the little things, that's why i say i'm an easily entertained person.

I wasn't always like this though, it took a near death experience a few years back to make me open my eyes, to make me see who was really there for me and cared. Most of the people who know me already know what happened but long story short, my stomach had issues.

When you're lying in a hospital bed for weeks with nothing to do you tend to do a lot of thinking, especially on the night when the doctors said they didn't think i was going to make it. I don't think a lot of my friends and family realize exactly the impact this had on me cause i've never really talked about it. You question everything though, for instance, is this how it's going to end? What's going to come after that if it does? How many people will actually miss me? You think about the things you still want to do.

It was hell, and i hope i live a very long time before i ever have to worry about asking questions like that again. But it made me a better person, it got me more in touch with my emotions than ever, and it made me realize that life is very fragile. I get disgusted with people who don't appreciate the lives they have, because i've been to the edge, i've seen my own mortality. I've always had a unique outlook on death, death is the great comedy, because we mourn for people who die when we should be happy that they're in a better place with no evil. Death is easy, death to me is a right of passage, when you're time is due then you've obviously earned it and i wish you the best.

I'm rambling so i'll just finish by saying that we need to make a more conscious effort to accept what we cant change and learn to appreciate all the little things that make life what it is, we'll all be much happier people when that happens.

Goodnight.